Introspection
I am quiet. I am looking inward while being guided from above. I don't usually look inward to much. I know that I am living pretty much how I should. Or so I thought. God thought differently.
Of late I have been looking back over my friend's lives who passed away last year. There were 3 good friends, 2 family members, 1 beautiful dog. As I looked back at the lives they led and the things God had placed before them, this got me to thinking on my own life. The ministry God has appointed me. One, sadly, I have not really touched in nearly 2 years. I keep thinking, God will push me on. Most times he has. But now I am learning that God sometimes wants you to take the reins he has placed in your hands. DO the groundwork, through prayer and his guidance of course.
Yesterday, during worship service, I was shown my own mortality. I was neither prepared for it nor expecting this. I have such a tendency to put off what I should be doing NOW. I was shown myself making out my will. Decisions that needed to be made regarding my children. The mere thoughts and visions brought the tears. I am ready to join my father, though I still long to be with my children and a mother, here on earth. They are still young. To be a wife and partner to my husband. So you can see where the mixed emotions came into it.
I was also given the answer to a prayer. Two actually. OK, Three now that I really am focusing on it.
1) My weight. I must do this. I am back to were I started when I lost over 50 lbs nearly 2 1/2 years ago. I swore I would not be back here. Yet here I am. Today I am back on Weight Watchers. God is with me and I CAN DO THIS!
2) My ministry. I am no longer on being fed milk. I am not a child in need of discipleship. I am a
I am strong enough for solid meat and to lead others in discipleship training. I have already been doing this for many years. Though I am a teacher, and I know this, I still tend to run from it. I must move forward. It is a gift from God. I do not want to see him place someone else over it. I must move forward in my gifts. Starting today!
3) Though I have felt that I was near God I realize now it is not so. I have lost my worship of him. Oh, I sing and I pray. Just not at the depth I need to in order to say I am sitting at his feet. I want to be Mary. To be close to him. To hear each word he speaks. So this area must increase.
Today for the first time in ages (it happened last night actually) out of no where a spiritual song just popped in my head and came out of my mouth. I felt...free. This morning I awoke with a song on my heart, in my head and I could do nothing but to thank God for it and for giving me another day, another chance, to be what he has designed me to be. His servant. At his feet. Going about his work he has placed in my care.
Music Video Codes By Music Jesus.com
3 comments:
Isn't it awesome when the Lord shows you something so clearly? It truly does bring freedom & peace.
I have been feeling like I am on the verge of something new in my walk with the Lord. I have no idea what it is but the Lord knows & His timing is perfect! I do feel that same need to draw closer to Him too. I heard on the radio the other day about the guys that wrote "The Heart of Worship" & how the Lord showed them that their music was becoming more like entertainment than real worship of Him. The repented & that song came out of their experience & now their music is more popular than ever (the Lord's doing not theirs!).
Well, I have more thoughts on this but I need to think on them & try to pull them together. My DH wants to walk now so I will come back & post more later! Forgive me for stopping midstream!
Love ya, Marcy
Don't stop. We have to go deeper in the Lord. Like in Ephesians we grow up into Him. Can you imagine when our mind finally grows up into His? Someone once told me that i was like Peter in the Bible. That one day i would walk on water--don't know if they meant literally.But the biggest thing that has stayed in my mind is that they called me a provoker. I like to push people to think to get beyond the surface. The man said that God would do the same to me. He would provoke me to go further. He said, Let God provoke you-He will take you places you would not otherwise go.
Sometimes provoking can be aggravating. Don't ever say, "Enough". Let Him provoke you!
Had another thought about this (run for cover, LOL!). I remember several years ago at Bible Study our pastor's wife was speaking & she was talking about 2 of the stages we can be in as Christians. One is out serving & ministering & the other is being "in" to worship & be taught by the Lord. She called it Out for Service/In for Worship. She said that during those "In For Worship" times the Lord equips us & strengthens us to prepare us to go out to minister. Not that we are not called on to minister to others at all times but there are just times when we need to be ministered to. At the time I was working in the Children's Ministry & had been for many years & I knew the Lord was calling me out of that ministry so this was something I really was glad to hear!
I will post anymore thoughts I have on this. Just takes me awhile to think things thru!!!
Love ya - Marcy
Post a Comment