It was a long night here at Clan D. I as usual did not get to bed until after 1am. I know shame on me.

So last night I crawl into bed and crash. At least until exactly 3am. This is when, for some reason, the electricity going out woke me...and the Bomb. Usually we sleep right through these sort of things. Only to wake in the morning, usually late, because the alarm didn't go off at the appointed time.

I got out of bed and using a cell phone for light creep into the living area to locate a flashlight, candle, and matches. You know in case the electric is still out when Bomb has to get ready for work. Just as I have located at least the candle and matches I figure good enough and head back to bed. I had just gotten back to the bedroom door when I see a light and hear footsteps! I froze and called out "Who's there!?" At that time Autumn steps around the corner to inform me that her battery back up to her PC is beeping. Using the wisdom that only a mother can possess I tell her "Turn it off." This seemed to satisfy her and she headed back to bed.

No sooner had I laid back down then my own silly backup for my PC starts beeping. I ignore it as it only lasts a few minutes. No need to get up in this cold house for that! It stopped only to be replaced by the follow the leader beeping of my house phones. In between these we have then added the beeping of the computer routers.

Literally by now we have BEEP...BEEP..........BEEP........BEEP...quiet for a few seconds then BEEP...BEEP.........BEEP......BEEP. Finally I get the bright idea to unplug the phones. Silly me they also have a battery backup! Who knew? Bomb reaches over and turns off the PC routers. Now we are down to just the phones BEEP...BEEP (one in the living room and one beside the bed). Or at least now I think that will be all.

Laying beside me and knowing how irritated I am getting at this point is my dear husband. Oh how I love his sense of humor and bravery! He looks over at me and goes...BEEP....BEEP....BEEP. The funeral is tomorrow.....

Introspection

I am quiet. I am looking inward while being guided from above. I don't usually look inward to much. I know that I am living pretty much how I should. Or so I thought. God thought differently.

Of late I have been looking back over my friend's lives who passed away last year. There were 3 good friends, 2 family members, 1 beautiful dog. As I looked back at the lives they led and the things God had placed before them, this got me to thinking on my own life. The ministry God has appointed me. One, sadly, I have not really touched in nearly 2 years. I keep thinking, God will push me on. Most times he has. But now I am learning that God sometimes wants you to take the reins he has placed in your hands. DO the groundwork, through prayer and his guidance of course.

Yesterday, during worship service, I was shown my own mortality. I was neither prepared for it nor expecting this. I have such a tendency to put off what I should be doing NOW. I was shown myself making out my will. Decisions that needed to be made regarding my children. The mere thoughts and visions brought the tears. I am ready to join my father, though I still long to be with my children and a mother, here on earth. They are still young. To be a wife and partner to my husband. So you can see where the mixed emotions came into it.

I was also given the answer to a prayer. Two actually. OK, Three now that I really am focusing on it.

1) My weight. I must do this. I am back to were I started when I lost over 50 lbs nearly 2 1/2 years ago. I swore I would not be back here. Yet here I am. Today I am back on Weight Watchers. God is with me and I CAN DO THIS!

2) My ministry. I am no longer on being fed milk. I am not a child in need of discipleship. I am a
I am strong enough for solid meat and to lead others in discipleship training. I have already been doing this for many years. Though I am a teacher, and I know this, I still tend to run from it. I must move forward. It is a gift from God. I do not want to see him place someone else over it. I must move forward in my gifts. Starting today!

3) Though I have felt that I was near God I realize now it is not so. I have lost my worship of him. Oh, I sing and I pray. Just not at the depth I need to in order to say I am sitting at his feet. I want to be Mary. To be close to him. To hear each word he speaks. So this area must increase.

Today for the first time in ages (it happened last night actually) out of no where a spiritual song just popped in my head and came out of my mouth. I felt...free. This morning I awoke with a song on my heart, in my head and I could do nothing but to thank God for it and for giving me another day, another chance, to be what he has designed me to be. His servant. At his feet. Going about his work he has placed in my care.

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Mental Note

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of humor editors, and his host
naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you
mind telling me, Doctor," he asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in
somebody who appears completely normal?"



"Nothing is easier," he
replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no
trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."



"What sort of
question?"



"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"



The editor
thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have
another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

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